The Wisdom of Dogs

Here I stand, Diogenes, arriving in Athens, never on my knees and though I am naked and my healthy fats diminished, I am not resentful that by my father I was banished. For this is the wondrous city, Athens: the birthplace of democracy. Where all men are created equal, just not foreigners like me oh and women are not people. But that’s beside the point! This is the home of the greatest philosophers, forming moral compasses from ivory towers, while slaves pray today they may be granted showers. I am not homeless, no I’m an educated man, but I just can’t bring myself to take more from this land, than can be held in the palm of my two hands. “Put on some clothes” shouts an Athenian gent, neck bent so his gaze lands just above my head. “For what do I need those?” is my retort and it’s met with nothing but a contemptuous snort. I used to own a bowl it was wooden and beautiful and it served me with food from the charity of the wealthy and the rude, who pity my situation as if they knew, but they don’t know how to move through life, they’re corrupted and confused. I threw that bowl away when I saw one day a dog sipping from the puddle, a smile on his face, and I shouted: “I’m a disgrace!” and I threw that bowl back at society that told me I needed such an unnecessary commodity. So I joined that dog and we sat together, knowing that if we just stayed present this moment would last forever and the laughs from the crowd were drowned out by a heart that knew from the start what was true. I looked that dog in the eye and clarity filled my mind, we are none of us better than any form of life.

So now the only thing I truly need is a lamp, yes, a lamp to see! I carry it with me at all times in the hope that I may find an honest human being but thus far I still am blind. But I’ve really splashed out on my living accommodation, upon a basset hound’s recommendation I have found a ceramic jar. What once held wine will do just fine for me to sleep and eat and urinate with my gang of canines. And those who mock I do forgive, but they mock that I am not embarrassed to do what I must to live. They have become so vein, so full of disdain, that what is simple and plain just does not sit well in their brain. All the same, they are not to blame, they were raised to play this ill-conceived game, by the ruling elite who claim you peasants too can eat the finest of meat. They know no other option but to want and desire but if they’d listen I’d tell them they can aim higher. They are featherless bipeds, plucked chickens no less, who will die and realise we’re all equal when we’re dead.

From voluntary poverty, I was abducted by pirates, who took away the one thing I truly desired: freedom to be nothing other than me and I was plunged into slavery. But in midst of this trouble I became strong from my struggle and my philosophy was wiser than that of Aristotle. I escaped a changed man to Corinth where I gained some new fans. I was famous yet hated but this land was the greatest. Along came another well-dressed gent with a serious comment: “stand up, young man! A very important figure would like to shake your hand”, but I, Diogenes, will remain sat down but never on my knees. I raise my head for a gander oh it’s just another human named Alexander. “Alexander the Great has arrived!” but I see no titles just those who are dead and those who are alive. “What does he want?” I ask as if I owe him something. “He wants to learn”. Well that I can give him. But Alexander stood before me and asked with authority if there was anything he could do for me. I searched for the words that might be right then eventually I told him “step out of my sunlight!” And Alexander the Curious was suddenly furious he gave me a look like he could be dangerous but he bit his tongue and asked: “so young one, what is it you do for fun?” I said, well Alexander, “I’m glad that you asked, I was searching through graves this summer past, I do these things, when I’m alone, searching and searching through human bones, see your father I heard was a King, so I spent my time looking for him, but it took so long only to discover, I could not distinguish him from any other.” And Alexander fell to his knees, saying “if I weren’t Alexander, I’d be Diogenes.”

Balanced on the Edge of Chaos: Why I Miss the Liberal Elite

When I was two years old, Blair was elected, meaning I'd get to grow up in a centre left, pro-European, internationalist and progressive political climate.

Though naturally rebellious, there's no doubting my politics remained broadly a part of the liberal consensus. I was part of the liberal elite.

When I was 15, the Labour years were coming to an end and it seemed like we were entering a new era of politics. That was okay though. Cameron was a self-described "compassionate conservative", an environmentalist and Europhile who was prepared to work with the Liberal Democrats to introduce new LGBT+ rights and continue the liberal consensus that had served us so well.

Then something happened, when we weren't paying attention.

The alt-right and control-left turf wars were taking over the internet, but our politicians remained committed to evidence based policy making and centrist consensus building. We thought those elites, with all their flaws, would suppress the tyrannical majority.

Something amazing followed. Despite all the polls pointing to the contrary, Cameron was elected with a majority and forced into holding a referendum on our membership of the EU. It's okay though, the polls clearly show remain would win and the undecideds will always vote with the status quo.

When I was 21, the UK voted to leave the European Union.

Surely this isn't so bad though, we can still take a sensible approach in the interest of the country. There's a presidential election happening in the USA and that informed, experienced, socially liberal Hillary Clinton is bound to win. All the polls show it.

I stayed up all night during the results, fearing the worst. At least I avoided disappointment this time.

And so Trump comes into office as I turn 22. Old ideals are dead.

After the Second World War, countries stopped acting purely in their own self interest. Global politics began to resemble domestic politics, with nation states cooperating for their mutual benefit instead of resorting to war and isolationism.

Soon there would hardly be a need for nation states at all. The 90's saw the walls torn down and borders erased. Whilst physical barriers were removed, ideological differences also began to fade as it seemed ideals of limited government, democracy, human rights, and pluralism were more or less universally accepted, at least in my part of the world.

But something has happened. Something happened when we weren't paying attention.

At the time of writing, the UK is four days from a General Election. This was supposed to be a return to stable government. A few weeks ago, it was clear Corbyn would release a manifesto to the left of Trotsky and May will get a sizeable majority. After all, all the polls are giving her a lead of over 20 points. We can trust the polls, right?

With days to go, there have been two acts of mass murder by Islamist terrorists in the last two weeks in the UK alone (and three in three months). Theresa May has faced calls to resign for her incompetency to keep the public safe. Furthermore, she's polling with a lead of between just 1 and 12 points, depending which poll you believe. A hung Parliament is looking increasingly likely.

Unelectable Corbyn, painted by the media as a terrorist sympathiser, is proving more popular than May on counter-terrorism issues. His opposition to destabilising foreign wars and promises to put more police on the street are unsurprisingly popular.

Perhaps politics has been so confusing lately, than May has no idea what to say to get elected. While Corbyn just says what he believes, May has nothing but "Brexit means Brexit", "enough is enough" and "this is right because it is the right thing to do".

In this climate, it is unwise to make predictions. But what if there is a hung Parliament? What would this mean?

A Tory/Liberal coalition? That goes against the point of holding an election to stop the anti-Brexit parties from frustrating the process. A minority government? Same problem. Another election? Would probably produce roughly the same outcome.

As members of the liberal elite, we've had it good for far too long. And now we're fighting something that no one understands. It is a movement that transcends facts, polls and statistics.

If a hung parliament materialises, parties must forget their tribal instincts. The liberal consensus lies dead at the side of the road. Anarchists, socialists and conservatives need to find their common interests: free speech, honest debate, compassion and understanding. If politics is a game, humanity is losing.